i like the yellow one.

isn't this easy?

2010-05-06T16:28:00.000-04:00

I always start to write my blog posts with something in mind that I'm going to discuss and then I end up deleting it all and starting over with what I actually talk about. Often more than once.

I wanted to talk about the concept of alone vs. together because I am a lit nerd and I love connotation and definition and diction and all those wordy things. My dictionary defines alone as "separate, apart, or isolated from others" and together as "into or in one gathering, company, mass, place, or body" and I think these are pretty typical of what somebody would come up with when prompted to define the definitions of these two words. But let's dig deeper. Can you be alone while still in one gathering? Can you be in one mass while still being isolated? Obviously the answer is yes, we've all heard Dark Blue, after all. But why is this? Why is this possible? How can words that mean the opposite thing happen at the same time? It seems to defy logical reasoning. I really think that this is allowed so that we can remember to pay attention to how we feel more often.

WLWD

2010-05-05T16:30:00.002-04:00

To perpetuate the tradition of Wordless Wednesday, I'm just going to post a (random) picture that I really love. I definitely talked enough yesterday!

17 going on 18.

2010-05-04T19:44:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've wanted to post an angry blog entry, and I was going to refrain because ragging on grandmothers isn't exactly classy, but when has classy ever been what I'm going for?

My grandma called me today, to ask me how prom and everything went this weekend, which I guess was nice. I was really expecting her to call tomorrow, seeing as tomorrow is my 18th Birthday. I guess she also called to appologize for not coming to my graduation, but the dragon of anger that is my resentment towards distance and laziness was barely satiated by this. I really don't see how hard it is to come to ONE special event for me. My grandparents saw my brother Three Times in the past year because he is now Private First Class La Bombard and not just The Pot Smoker Who Dropped Out Of College Twice, unlike I, who was merely the Straight A Student Who Was Self Taught Through High School With Little To No Help From Anyone Else And Is Much Less Important Than Someone In The Army. Like really graduating with honors and having a 3.84 GPA and getting into two great schools and the Honor's program in both schools and getting a $14,000 scholarship without even asking isn't enough to get ONE relative to come to my graduation? Admitedly, my brother only had two, and one of them was our crazy aunt, but those people ALSO saw him several times last year. And you know what my grandma said on the phone? It will be nice to see you and especially to catch up with Brian while we're all in Baltimore. Catch. Up. With. Brian. Especially. I'm really upset. ):

And then I got a card in the mail (Well, two cards, but one of them was a coupon to a store in Asheville that I won't be visiting this month and so will expire before I get to use it) from my grandma. the car was pink, had a yellow bunny on it, ugly font, and made little to no sense because I didn't actually read it. I was excited about the seemingly thick envelope because normally cards from grandma contain a check. This one, however, just had unnessecarily thick paper on the front, as if grandma was trying to smuggle me drugs into prison. I would have been happy with either, but alas I received neither any illicit substances nor any birthday money. And then I realized. I'm Turning Eighteen. that means no more presents at Christmas from my favorite aunt and uncle. Does this also mean no more birthday money? I DON'T GET IT. I can think of very few birthdays as important as 18. The first birthday, of course. Wonderful. A whole year. The 10th birthday, I think is really special. Turning 21 is obviously great. And Turning Eigtheen. I can vote now. I can buy cigarettes and infomercial products and have my own bank account and view internet porn, if I so choose. I can live away from my parents. But I get a bubble gum pink card with an ugly yellow mutated rabbit on it and no money?

Now I guess I should back this anger up with something other than whining. My birthdays have always kind of had a strange twist to them. For example, the year I turned 5 my dad was out of town. At age 9, I celebrated a fake birthday with my friends before we moved about a thousand miles too far away. Things were generally okay until I turned 13. I know it's unlucky, but I was super excited to turn 13. Thirteen is SO much older and more sophisticated than 12, I thought. It has a TEEN at the end, after all. So the week leading up to my birthday I was excited, because my birthday was on a thursday and traditionally thursdays have been excellent days for me. That was all about to change. I woke up to my brother and mom singing happy birthday, which I normally would have loved but on that particular day I wanted to kill them. I was In A Bad Mood. when I got into the shower, I found out why. Period. Attack. That's all I'll say here. I was kind of put off but still excited for my B-Day. However, a few seconds later I woke up on the bathroom floor with no recolection of what had happened except that I passed out and I was alone in the house. A day at the doctor's office later, all I got was some new pens and a plate of brownies that I didn't want to eat. Thanks Mom. I remember that turning 14 was shitty because I had just started homeschooling and it was really strange and different and I felt like nobody cared about me. 15 was alright, and 16 was AWESOME. Why? Not only did I get a FISH and a really nice dinner and reconnect with an old friend in the days leading up to it, I planned my own party. My parents do not plan exciting events for someone as insignificant as their second child. Even on her sweet 16. Anyway, the party was great and I felt ravishing and all of that. (Even if I did have to build a grill [honest to God] in the backyard and it rained anyway.) Then the next year rolled around and it was The Separation. My parents were doing horribly in their relationship and my dad had just moved out and when he came over, again, I received office supplies. (A notebook from CVS) We did go to Tijuana Flats though. Those cookie dough flautas go really well with awkward silences. So this year I'm turning 18 and I have no idea what I want but I just know that if it means I don't get presents anymore I kind of want to turn 17 forever, because I can USE a notebook from CVS, goddamn it.

To further this whine fest just a little bit more, I'd like to bring up the issue of Surprise Parties. I remember once as a kid we had a surprise birthday party for my dad. I was maybe three and a half and it was also the night that I had my pinky crushed under a day bed and was locked out of my own room and tormented by older boys, but I still really really thought it was HOT SHIT and wanted my own Surprise Party. I've asked my parents for a Surprise Party every year. They always ask me where I want it, what I want it to be like, and I just say SURPRISE ME. And every year, I kind of expected it to happen. (Especially on the years that sucked.) And every year has passed without it happening. I asked again this year, as is my tradition, and as is her tradition, my mom asked me where I wanted it to be and what I wanted it to be like. I said SURPRISE ME, but I'm not keeping my hopes up.

In Other News I really feel like blogging like a real blogger with words and just pictures so here's a nice long wordy post to get you started, right? If anyone out there actually read all of this, I don't really hate my grandmother. I just love her so much I want to see her more often. And my parents only screwed me up a little bit by never giving me a surprise party. Also- I fucking love birthdays. Tomorrow I am turning 18.

To make it so that this is not just me ranting about birthdays, I'm also going to include pictures of my that I've taken on each birthday. Or close to each birthday. Yes, I AM that egotistical.

I'm sorry. I was turning 16. I liked to take myspace pictures of myself. A lot.

This was the year I turned 17 and I went to an after prom party a few days before my birthday so OF COURSE I had to take a picture of myself in a swim suit. LOOK. I have two eyes!

WOW. It's vertical. And somebody else took the picture. And I'm not quite a cyclops but I do still have side bangs. Hm... maybe I need to change my hair style. This was taken at prom on the 1st. Close enough.

Anyway, that's that. nothing related to Look Up, the theme of NaBloPoMo but that's okay.

hard and soft.

2010-05-03T20:53:00.000-04:00

I find it really interesting that when I listen to 'hardcore' rock music I get inspired to make pretty, soft things.

like these pictures.

Just three pictures today. I wanted to make more but my computer's being weird.
Also, I think I'm gonna do NaBloPoMo even though I've started 2 days late. The theme this month is Up, so I'll try to do some more stuff concerning that tomorrow... or something. ;p

I returned to you but found my empty home.

2010-02-28T13:36:00.008-05:00

did some exploring with a friend of mine yesterday. the lighting was a bit dull but I think it works.
click for bigger! also it's probably going to mess up my layout. :P

I'll have to finish later.

some pictures I like that haven't really seen the light of day.

2010-02-27T01:33:00.002-05:00

just a few for tonight. :]

I'll be starting college when this girl is going into kindergarten.

2010-02-27T01:23:00.001-05:00

sometimes I wish I could go back to being a kid again, without so much to worry about or think about but then I think that kind of discredits what deep minds children can have. When I was little I used to think about so many things. there was so much in the world that I wanted to know about! I think I'm discovering most of what I've always wanted to know but love still kind of eludes me. I understand it but it's yet to be reciprocated. So I'll be here waiting, wandering around in the night air. I say I can't wait for spring but really I love every moment of this life. I'm going to try not to wish it all away. I need to take more time to be creative and happy.

2010-02-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing.

I took this with my webcam sooo the colors are a little off but yeah.

more stuff.

2010-01-13T14:09:00.001-05:00

I dunno, I just didn't want to upload this to deviantart. I don't think it's good enough for a few reasons, but at the same time I really like it. My inspiration while I was making it was Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore. I'm not all that much of a paramore lover, but this particular song resonates with me.

also it doesn't show the whole thing on the page, so I guess you have to click it. :P

Here's something.

2010-01-11T21:02:00.001-05:00

Not photobooth, just cell phone pictures. I like it. I like to make collages and stuff.

oh and also I had been doing 30 days of sharing on here but I decided to keep it to LJ and make this stay my place to put up experimental shit.

poetry. something old. a study in extended metaphore.

2009-12-09T22:32:00.001-05:00

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.

—Jack Kerouac

Clear pins freckle her face,

Commemorating loss and love and hope,

Every ink spot is a new beginning.

A web of measurements entangles her,

Showing the lengths that affection will travel,

Marking distances from eyes and nose to mouth and heart.

Her hair blows blue in the breeze as tears overflow,

Bringing optimism to islands of despair,

Cleansing continents of hatred

Streaks of yellow, orange, pink, and green blush

Call her cheeks home,

Distorted around her previously curved forehead and chin

Millions of words are scrawled upon her eyebrows and earlobes,

Like wrinkles where they settle,

Keeping track of how long she has breathed life.

In her eyes are thousands of children,

Some wait at red lights while others stand still,

In front of doors they will never learn to open.

She is stationary moving only when her mother chooses to,

Watching the rotating screen of clouds and seasons and

Letting the sun kiss her face through a window

experimenting.

2009-12-09T00:17:00.001-05:00

I've been experimenting, but when am I not? :)

That's all for now. :)

the squeaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse.

2009-12-01T10:19:00.000-05:00

I think I should try harder to write nice things here and not just post pictures.
but today grows busier by the moment
so here you go.

Misc.

2009-10-11T20:56:00.000-04:00

some more lovely, random pictures.
just three this time.
I'm working on more, though.

Oops. :P

2009-09-27T00:10:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted anything for a few days! Grr.
Well I was at the anime convention AWA this weekend and squeaked out of Georgia just in time before the floods came. :O
The weekend was pretty dramatic but I think I've recovered haha.
A good but scary movie that I saw last night is called 'A Tale of Two Sisters'. You should definitely watch it! It's veryyy good and only mildly gory. :P If you get creeped out at night, be warned. Last night's sleep was fitful. >>

That's all, just wanted to check in. I'll probably be trying to get back into taking new pictures tomorrow. Maybe more of my doll! :D

Wherever you are, it sounds beautiful.

2009-09-14T23:25:00.001-04:00

Here are some random pictures that I definitely didn't take today.
But I like them anyway!

asldkfjasdf.

2009-09-14T02:31:00.000-04:00

I forgot to tell you something about myself, world.
I never finish what I start.
But here;

Day 2.

2009-09-11T13:51:00.000-04:00

This will be posted on the same date as Day 1 because I am stupid and didn't post it before midnight last night.
Today is Sept. 11th. I'm not sad, but I do feel something.
It's not just a normal day.
One of my uncles was in the North Tower. His building got hit first. He and his co-workers had no idea of what had happened, but began to evacuate. They heard the South Tower get hit while they were trying to leave. They still didn't know what was going on. They were told, initially, that everything was fine and they should go back to their offices. A few turned back. My uncle kept going. He walked 30 miles home that day, in medical shock from the events. For over six hours nobody in our family knew where he was. Several weeks later he was watching Toy Story with his children and suffered a nervous breakdown.
His twin also worked in the WTC (in another building), and had decided to take the subway home. He was in contact with his family, but he got home hours after the uncle who walked.
I just don't want people to forget that something important happened today.
It's a drop in the bucked compared to the daily lives of people in other countries, but it still means something to me.
It changed everything, and I think people forget that. We get used to things. It's been almost ten years, of course we have trouble remembering what it was like before.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. It's not very poinent and it probably won't stir any emotions in anyone who reads it, I just think things need to be out there sometimes.

I'm going to edit in the pictures later.

Day 1.

2009-09-11T00:03:00.001-04:00

So here I am, at 11:22, finally editing the pictures I took today...
I am not a very successful blogger, my friends.
I actually forgot that I was going to do this when I first woke up and didn't remember until it was too late to get a real grasp on the day. So think of this as kind of a half-assed introductory post. Five pictures.

1. Me. This is me. I use photoshop to change colors. I forget about projects. I have lots of homework.

2. This is my bed. I love my bed. It's really messy, and I don't like that it's messy in this picture, but this is how it always is.

3. This is my even messier workspace. I will tell you, it's not my fault. I have no storage. Stuff has to go somewhere...

4. I have a BJD. google it. it's not like a barbie at all.

5. This is my living room. Note my brother. (oh look now it's midnight...)

That's really all for now.
Somewhat disappointing, I'm sure.
Tomorrow we'll explore other aspects of my life.

Blog goals.

2009-09-09T23:49:00.001-04:00

So I said that I just want to post my pictures
but I kind of want more than that!
I want to be witty and entertain people.
I want to make a blog about my life that people will care about.
But- not abstract thoughts about my life, no no. That doesn't work for me. I have meltdowns.
So I have to think of something, right?
And I did.
I thought about how I love my camera and want to use it more.
So I am going to doccument my life, every day!
I'll take pictures of the people, places, and things that are important to me.
And each evening, share them with you!
I am already busy
this goal will be difficult.
I will start with 10 days, and work my way on.
Day 1 will be tomorrow. The titles of the posts will be 'day 1', 'day 2', etc, etc, etc until perhaps 'day 365' but let's just hope for 'day 10'.
Tonight is for charging batteries!
Au revoir, lovies.

three.

2009-09-01T16:13:00.001-04:00

Lately I have been listening to The White Stripes.
It feels nostalgic and nice, I'm pleased.
I'm also happy because I realized that you can save curves in photoshop and load them again on a new image!

Here are some more photos. Some of these are quite old. You can click on them to view them fullsize.

two.

2009-08-30T01:06:00.001-04:00

Hello again!

Just here to share some pictures that I've taken recently but haven't done anything with.

These are really just misclanious things that I've played around in photoshop with. :]

I used basically the same process for each picture.

A few screen layers or soft light, if needed.

Three selective color layers:

1. R: -100, +10, +100, 0

Y: -100, +10, -30, 0

N: 32, -8, -12, 0

2. R: -13, -11, +12, 0

Y: +26, +8, -20, 0

N: +10, 0, -8, 0

3. N: +18, +28, +23, -14

and then a blue exclusion layer with the opacity set down to 30-80%

a reddish/berry brown layer set to lighten, like in the 1st-5th, or exclusion, as in the last two.

Base layer duplicated on top to soft light.

etc, etc, etc,

and a 3px black border. :)

one.

2009-08-28T13:45:00.001-04:00

What I honestly want is for this blog to be a place where I can display my photos and just generally write about life.
I guess I should share some things about myself.
I am seventeen.
I live in North Carolina.
I am female, if you couldn't tell.
My name is Kimberly.
I'm a senior in high school.
I am home schooled.
I love photography.
I hope to major in either English or Psychology and minor in Photography.
I'm going to apply to Georgetown, Chapel Hill, and UNC Asheville.
I aspire to open a tea shop and art gallery with my two best friends.
I'm terrible at coming up with things to say about myself.